What We Want Page 8

  Touching wasn’t all Zach wanted. He knew Rob was the one. He knew it. Marge thought world of him, but Rob was more. So much more. All the layers he’d discovered, and all those still uncovered.

  Why now? Why now when I’ve made peace with the fact I’ll have to settle.

  If Rob could see it. See it the way I do. If he could see me...

  He remembered strange looks and weird statements this morning. It could have meant nothing. But hope was a cruel thing; it showed up from nowhere to torture you. It showed up with your dream on a platter that you could almost reach. It was always almost. But not quite.

  The phone ringing startled him.

  “Hey, Carson. Impeccable timing as always.” He pushed his fingers through his hair.

  “Oh, really? Were you mooning over Rob-the-kitten-savior again?” Carson sighed. “I told you to come home, Zach. I told you to hire someone to fix the house and sell it. This isn’t funny anymore.”

  “I know, Car. Don’t you think I know that?” Zach slumped in the chair. “But how would it look if I suddenly packed and left?”

  “Who cares what straighty thinks?!”

  “I didn’t mean Rob. And don’t call him that!” Zach ground out.

  “Ooh, defensive much?”

  “Fuck you. He doesn’t deserve that. And I was thinking more about Mom and Aunt G. I would need a big reason to up and leave after everything we agreed on.”

  “Oh, that. Oops.” Carson smacked his lips.

  “Yeah, oops.”

  “I’m not lying to Mom and G to save your ass,” Carson said.

  “Of course, you’re not. I’m not leaving until I finish what I promised. This thing with Rob...well, I’ll just have to stick it out.”

  “There is no need to torture yourself, you know?” Carson said. “One word: handyman. Oh, that brings back memories, hmm...”

  “God, you’re such a child...” Zach groaned.

  He heard a knock on the front door.

  “Rob is here. I have to go,” he told Carson.

  Zach opened the door and gestured to Rob that he was finishing the conversation.

  “Be careful, Zach, please,” Carson begged him.

  “I will, Car. I know.”

  “I don’t want some unaware straight jerk to break your beautiful heart.”

  “I know. It won’t come to that, I hope.” Too late. “I love you,” he whispered.

  “I love you, too. Call me.”

  “I will. Bye, pumpkin.”

  “Bye, babe.”

  Zach put the phone in his pocket and sighed.

  “Something wrong?” Rob asked. He was pacing in the middle of the hallway and he seemed off.

  “No, it was Carson. Being Carson.”

  “You two really are close.” His eyes jumped all over the place. He looked everywhere except at Zach.

  What’s wrong, Rob?

  “Told you, brothers.”

  “Mhm...” Rob really didn’t seem like himself. “Shall we go?”

  “I’m ready.”

  Chapter 22

  “Why didn’t we choose this one?” Zach asked.

  They stood in the middle of an aisle surrounded with thousands of color samples. It looked like a unicorn ate the rainbow and then threw up.

  “No, the kitchen would be too dark. The color is nice on a sample card, but it wouldn’t work on the walls. It would be too... how to put it?” Rob scratched his head. “It would look dead.”

  “Oh, good to know.” Zach was looking at the little sample cards and grimacing.

  “We did it right, don’t worry.” Rob placed his hand on Zach’s shoulder and felt him go rigid. He pulled his hand away.

  Maybe he doesn’t like me. Not that way. He doesn’t want me to touch him. Rob sighed. Of course. Why would he? I’m not as attractive as I think I am; he can do so much better. He straightened his spine. But I can’t give up. I want this to work.

  A familiar song played over the loudspeaker. Yeah, never gonna give you up...

  “Come on.” Rob took Zach’s hand and led him to the next aisle. This time Zach didn’t flinch. “Let’s look at these. They are high quality and very reasonably priced. I did a calculation, and it works with our budget.”

  “OK,” Zach mumbled. He trailed after Rob still holding his hand. Nice.

  “This light gray will go well in the living room.” Rob gave him the sample.

  “It’s similar to the color of your bedroom, right?”

  Huh? Yeah, jump right into the bedroom, Zach. Why don’t you?

  “Similar, yes. Bedroom.” Rob, get it together. It was a no go when he thought of Zach and bedroom in the same sentence.

  “Are we going to make my house a demisexual flag, too?” Zach asked.

  “Demi what? I’m not following...” Confusion lines marred his face.

  “The colors in your house. They are mostly the colors of demisexual pride flag, except for a few details,” Zach explained.

  Note to self: research pride flags. Apparently, there are more than one. And what exactly is demisexual?

  “Is that a bad thing?”

  “No, most people wouldn’t even notice.” Zach waved his hand.

  “But I liked that color palette. It was soothing, and I needed that.” Rob was getting defensive.

  “It’s OK, Rob.” Zach put his hands on Rob’s shoulders. “I love your color palette. Your house is gorgeous, and I would love to live in it.”

  “You can.” Shit! “Come to visit. You can come to visit anytime.” Really smooth.

  “Thank you.” Zach smiled at him and turned around to look at samples again. “For my house, we can choose some generic colors. You know, beige... that sort of thing.”

  “We don’t have to make it ugly.”

  “Not ugly, Rob. But whoever buys it will probably want to redecorate it.” Zach waved with two beige sample cards. “We just need to clean it up a bit, so to speak...” He put one olive green card next to them and studied them.

  “Nice choice.” Rob turned to the voice. The guy standing a few feet from them was looking at Zach. Light washed jeans were practically painted on him, leaving nothing to the imagination, and a brown leather jacket stretched over his shoulders. He wasn't very tall, but he was handsome with a charming smile. His skin was pale, and he had an impossibly fancy haircut.

  Hot. Go away.

  “Excuse me?” Rob asked.

  “The colors. Nice choice of colors.” The guy ignored Rob, focusing solely on Zach. “You’re redecorating?” A smile danced on his lips as he looked straight at Zach, his blue eyes sparkling.

  Gag.

  “Thanks.” Zach looked at the guy and dismissed him by turning his attention back to samples. “Yes, we’re doing a little makeover.”

  Take that, loser.

  Rob took two steps and stood behind Zach, blocking him from the stranger’s view. He looked over his shoulder, doing his best to emulate rage in caveman style. The stranger shook his head, smiled, and left.

  Rob put a hand on Zach’s back.

  Mine.

  Chapter 23

  The kitchen smelled of paint even with opened windows. But Zach wouldn’t be able to breathe, anyway. It wasn’t just the sight of Rob in a tight shirt and low hanging sweats. Zach was going crazy. Everything about Rob seemed off, like he wasn’t the same man.

  What was with this behavior all of the sudden?

  Why is he looking at me like that? If I didn't know better, I would think he’s flirting with me....

  “I told you it was a good color for the kitchen.” Rob winked and climbed the ladder.

  “Yeah, it looks really good. And the living room turned out amazing. I hope all this gets Miranda of my back.” Zach took a step back and looked at the wall.

  “What about the buyer? Does she have anyone in mind?” Rob bent over the ladder, trying to reach for the corner above the cupboard. The sweats tightened over his ass and Zach forgot how to... Inhale, come on, air in.

&nb
sp; He looked at the floor quickly, fearing Rob would notice his choking.

  “She said she has a guy in mind. Single, so no pesky toddlers running around.” Zach laughed.

  “I wouldn’t mind toddlers, but if I could choose, I would rather have you.” A beat. “For a neighbor,” Rob added.

  What? What do you mean? Just as a neighbor or... oh, just shoot me, now, please!

  “Thank you,” he replied in politest voice possible.

  It’s for the best I won’t be here much longer; I’m going crazy as it is.

  The temptation was insufferable.

  The scent of the man was killing him, the sight of Rob’s muscles flexing under his shirt, his soft humming while he painted...Zach knew where every muscle curved, he could map out that body with eyes closed.

  Will I ever forget him? Or will I sit in my room in New York thinking of what I left behind?

  Probably the latter.

  “Nothing to thank me for. If you go back to New York, I will miss you... your company...”

  Please, don’t tease me, Rob. I cannot survive it.

  “If?”

  “I’m still holding on to hope you’ll take that job and I’ll be able to keep you.”

  I want you to keep me. Forever.

  “As my guinea pig.” Rob looked at him and grinned.

  Why do you want me to stay? Why would you do this to me? Why?!

  “Even if I were to stay, this house is going. I don’t need this four-bedroom monstrosity.” The house was too big for him, even without all the ghosts of the past that were chasing him.

  “Yeah, but you would be 10 minutes away max, as opposed to two hundred miles.” Rob got down from the ladder and pulled the hem of his t-shirt up to wipe sweat from his forehead.

  “True.” Zach pushed the word around the lump in his throat. He saw abs glistening from sweat and he could see where the waistline of his sweats fell down. Rob’s hip bones were showing, a light trail of hair going south...Zach was salivating.

  Please don’t get a hard on, please don’t get a hard on, please...

  “So, you could pop in for dinner anytime.”

  Oh, no... no popping, absolutely no popping whatsoever.

  Zach turned and opened the fridge. He grabbed a bottle of water and took a sip, hoping he wouldn’t choke on it.

  Choke on it?!

  “Speaking of dinner...” Zach turned back to Rob. “I heard about this new Italian restaurant on Atwells Avenue. And I was thinking we could check it out tonight.” Fingers crossed.

  “Yeah?” Rob was breathing hard trying to move the ladder around the kitchen island.

  Now his breathing is turning me on? When did I become a teenage girl?

  “We’ve been here since this morning and you didn’t have time to cook.” Zach shrugged. “I’m sick of takeout food. So, what do you say?” Say yes, Rob. Please, say yes. Come with me.

  Wrong choice of words, Zach. No coming. Oh, no, no, no....

  “Sure. I’d love to go.”

  Thank you, God.

  “Great! We’ll finish this crap by five, so. I’m going to call and get us a table for seven.” He needed to get out of the room before the bulge in his shorts became too obvious.

  “Go, make the call, but hurry. We have work to do and you keep finding the reasons to get off...”

  “Oh, shut up.”

  Chapter 24

  For heaven's sake, I feel like a teenager. I haven't thought about what to wear on a first date in 20 years.

  Yeah. Date. Funny.

  Rob stood in his closet, with the towel around his hips. His hair was still wet, he still didn’t know what to wear, and it was almost time for Zach to come and pick him up.

  Don’t panic. Focus.

  He went to the bedroom. Meow was on the bed licking himself and occasionally throwing glances at the half-naked man shaking his head and mumbling to himself.

  “You are no help, you know that? You come here to eat and sleep. Then you lick yourself clean and you are ready for any cat in the neighborhood.” Rob was getting agitated. “I, on the other hand, have to find something appropriate for a first date that isn’t a date. Do you know how hard that is?”

  He took boxers from his dresser and put them on.

  Meow looked at him, then jumped from the bed and exited the room.

  “Yeah, run you coward, run...”

  He went back to the gym/closet room.

  He pulled black jeans from the shelf and, deciding on casual, took dark gray polo shirt off a hanger. The hanger fell on the floor and he kicked it.

  I’m being ridiculous. My neighbor invited me to dinner, no big deal. It’s like, just bros hanging out. Mhm... right. You just want to kiss the fuck out of that bro, that's all.

  Fuck! No. Stop. Focus.

  And what would Marge say? I’m robbing her cradle. I’m despicable.

  He went to the bathroom and looked in the mirror. He gagged and tried to style his hair into something from this century.

  You’re an idiot.

  The doorbell ranged and scared him to death. I don’t have to run; it’s not like he’s not going to wait. But what if... run.

  As he opened the door, his jaw dropped. Zach stood on the porch in jeans that appeared to be tailored just for him, with creases in all the good places. A light blue button down made his skin glow and his blond hair was all made up in this pull-my-hair-while-you-fuck-me style. He looked like a dream. Rob’s wet dream.

  And I’m standing here with my mouth hanging open.

  “I’m almost ready. Come in, I need to leave some food for Meow and then we can go.”

  “Hopefully you’ll put on some shoes, too.” Zach checked him out and smirked.

  “No, smart ass, I wasn’t planning on it. And where’s your jacket? You’ll freeze to death.”

  Zach came in and went to the kitchen.

  “It’s in the car, Mom.”

  “Fuck you.” I would.

  “Where is the cat prince?” Meow rubbed against Zach’s leg. “Oh, there you are...”

  Zach picked up the cat and rubbed his cheek against Meow’s head.

  Rob’s pulse accelerated. Was he actually jealous of his cat? How low can you fall?

  “How do you do that? He never comes near other people.” Rob took the can of Meow’s food and poured it in his bowl. “Whenever someone else comes over, he runs and hides.”

  “Oh, I’m just magic like that.” Zach grinned.

  You have no idea.

  “OK, Mister Magic,” he winked. “We can go now.”

  The restaurant was a replica of Nonna’s kitchen. A very expensive replica. When they entered, Vivaldi was playing softly in the background. The bar looked like an over-sized kitchen counter with a carved wooden top and the shelves behind it were filled with hundreds of bottles of wine. Rob looked at the tiles on the floor. Probably from Tuscany or something.

  The hostess came up to them. She was a pretty young girl in her twenties, wearing the tiniest little black dress.

  “Good evening, gentlemen.” She pulled her shoulders back and looked at Zach through her eyelashes. Fake.

  “Good evening. We have reservations for Zach Steel.” He smiled at her.

  “Yes, come with me.” She turned and led them to their table. Zach put his hand on Rob’s lower back and pushed him in front of him. Two steps further, the hostess turned and pouted when she saw that it was Rob behind her and not Zach.

  Wrong tree, little girl.

  The tables were covered with thick and heavy damask tablecloths that went almost to the floor. From the ceiling, wrought-iron chandeliers were hanging and Rob wondered what would happen if the chains snapped. Excellent for the first date conversation.

  Their table was in the corner, from one side completely hidden with a huge planter full of hibiscus. The hostess seated them and left them with the menus, still pouting. There were lit candles on the table and mismatched crystal glasses.

  This really is a date. Right?r />
  Zach glanced at him from behind the menu and winked. Rob looked down.

  Oh... and HE thinks this a date. Right? This is so confusing.

  He looked at Zach again. He’s so beautiful.

  “I’m starving. You didn’t let me have a break today,” Zach complained.

  “Oh, poor baby...” My baby.

  The waiter came, and they ordered drinks.

  “I’ll have orange juice,” Zach said.

  “I’ll have Chardonnay. I don’t have to be responsible and I have a chauffeur.” He pointed at Zach. The waiter smiled and left.

  “Ha ha, very funny.” Zach frowned.

  “I’m glad you think so.” Rob winked at him.

  “And you’re walking home.” Zach shook his head and returned to his menu.

  “Are you gentlemen ready to order?” the waiter asked when he brought their drinks.

  “Yes,” Rob said. “I’ll have Pecorino Ravioli with walnuts.”

  “Excellent.”

  Of course it’s excellent. I don’t need some endless pasta strips oozing down my chin tonight.

  “I’ll have Beef Brasato.”

  “Good choice.”

  Rob couldn’t tear his gaze from Zach’s face. I’m really sitting here with him. I’m here. I want to hold his hand.

  Zach looked up at him and smiled.

  “It’s a very nice restaurant. I hope the food is good.” Zach said.

  You’re very nice.

  “Yeah, I hope...” I hope you will not turn me down. I hope you’ll give me a chance. “I hope so, too.”

  Zach continued to chat about restaurants in New York, but Rob didn’t hear him. He knew he had to work fast if he didn’t want to lose Zach. This thing with David was a close call; he couldn’t let that happen again. The next guy might grab the chance, and it would leave Rob with nothing.

  Zach was still talking.

  Nod and smile, Rob. Pretend you’re normal. You’re an expert in that.

  The waiter brought their dinner.

  “Oh, this looks amazing. Yours too.” Zach pointed at Rob’s plate.